The tirades of the let down

Disappointment has always been a part of my life. Things do not always seem to be what I thought they would be. A planned meet-up with close friends, only to end up getting cancelled last minute because of light rain. An adventure trip that failed to live up to its promise of stress-free days. Or a sworn promise made by someone special only to watch him do the things he said he wouldn’t.  

Moments like these never fail to show up even in the slowest of my days. Sometimes, I wonder whether I would get used to the feeling of disappointment. As far as I can tell, I still get knocked up by it one way or another. 

Maybe it has something to do with why I felt like I was let down. You see, a person wouldn’t really get disappointed if he or she simply does not value the worth of trust given to a certain individual. If someone counted on you, that means they trust that you would do your best to see right through it. In some ways, getting disappointed also tastes a lot like being cheated on. And boy, it does not taste good.

It could also be because, after several times of having poor judgement, I still believe. I believed it when he said he would bring an umbrella so I need not take mine. I believed it when she said we’ll have a long and painfully detailed conversation about her new man. I believed it when he said he’ll change his ways. I believed them all, even if not all of them would be true until the end. 

I should really know better by now. I should have backup plans on where to hangout so a little rain won’t make me and my friends cancel the trip.  I should have an option B of itinerary when going to a new place.Or maybe I should know that somehow he’ll break his promise and I really should not count on his words that much. 

What people usually don’t understand is that trust is not an unlimited resource to give away. It takes a while to replenish it once it has been depleted. As time goes by, it will raise its price and if that keeps on happening, it will be too expensive. Soon, no one will be able to afford it.



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